Sunday, September 19, 2004

Disclosing Information

I hate telling people too much information about myself, whether it's on the internet or in reality, I don't do it. When they ask about me I prefer to give the no-meaning answers that are preferred in general conversation. "Oh, I'm fine, good. How are you?" People don't want to hear your life story when you greet them anyways, but I take it a step farther. When they start to ask more questions I'll give basic answers without going into much detail. That's my mistake. Always, people want to know more about me and my plans. The plans aren't very good ones, so I don't talk about them. If I do tell them, I feel guilty when the plans change.

It's rude to blow people off with, "Oh, just stuff," when they ask what I'm doing. Is it nicer to tell them, "I'm just living, taking one day at a time, or nothing much"? I'd like to think it is, but I'm so worried about status and opinions that appearing wayward and lost is unthinkable.

In the last few days I've lost direction yet again! Man, this happens too much and in the strangest ways. Opportunities from all directions show up and I get confused! Just when I was back on track and getting things done everything derails. And in come the questions. "Why did you do this? Why didn't you do this? Don't you want this, that, and the other?" I'll be so bold as to say, "I don't know, and I don't care."

What a sad way to end the week. Next week's going to be better, but don't expect me to tell much.